Mastered: Teagan: Sanctuary, Texas (A Sanctuary Texas World Novella Book 1) Read online

  “I’m a fucking mess, Javier. I don’t belong with him. He wants the whole package. A mate. Probably babies. What am I supposed to say? I had those things and lost them. My heart shatters at the thought of having them again. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve him.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, chica. You deserve to be happy again. This thing we do,” he said, gesturing back and forth between them. “It’s your way of punishing yourself and hiding from moving on with your life.”

  “Yours too,” Teagan shot back, folding her arms across her chest. “Don’t tell me you don’t wish you could find someone to connect with.”

  He growled low in his chest. “You need to go to him,” Javier answered, dodging her accusation. He turned and walked down the sidewalk, leaving her alone with her thoughts and frustrations.

  She growled through a sigh. The vampire was a complete bastard and asshole, but he got her and he wasn’t devoid of feelings. He knew why she did what she did, and he accepted her for it. He didn’t judge or tell her she was wrong for seeking pain.

  Not like Finn.

  Javier didn’t push her.

  Until just now. And he’d pushed her away. Told her he wasn’t what she needed. How dare he try to tell her what she did or didn’t need? He was just a bloody vampire.

  Except he was the only man she listened to.

  Tears streamed down her cheeks. She stood in the early-morning breeze and sobbed alone. The only man who gave a damn about her in this town had just told her she needed to move on. Only she wasn’t sure she was ready. Although her amount of readiness hadn’t stopped the man she considered her Dom from shoving her down that path and away from him.

  She took a few steps forward and turned down the street Finn had taken. His smell lingered, and she drew in a deep breath of his warm spicy scent.

  “Finn?” she whispered, hoping he might still be close enough to hear her.

  Her tennis shoes patted softly against the pavement as she continued to walk, passing a few small shops before she entered one of the older Lycan neighborhoods in town.

  The morning light bathed the old ranch-style homes in a soft glow. She could hear the inhabitants moving about inside, but no one was outdoors yet. They were all eating breakfast or drinking coffee. The scent of freshly ground beans drifted from nearly every house she passed.

  She wasn’t sure what she was looking for. Never having been to Finn’s house, she didn’t know where he lived. But his scent continued down the sidewalk, and so she kept following it.

  There wasn’t much else to do. She needed a Dom—a Master, actually. She needed the structure and security it gave her. Without Javier, she had nothing to keep her from sinking into oblivion again. Though she knew the vampire wouldn’t ignore her completely, he’d made it clear in so many words that he was done being her Dom.

  Finn’s scent trailed down a walkway to a large one-story house. It was mixed with the scents of several other males who had recently come out into the front yard, though they’d since left. Anxiety fluttered in her heart like a wild bird trapped in a small cage.

  “Finn?” she said aloud again.

  The front door opened with a squeak and she jumped, biting her lip in the process. The coppery taste of her blood seeped slowly into her mouth and she grimaced.

  Finn appeared in the doorway, all six and a half feet of solid muscle and primal hunger. He was shirtless and his body was slicked with sweat. She could smell the frustration hanging on him like a shroud. His desire peaked when their gazes met, his naturally brown eyes burned a bright yellow. His hands clenched at his sides, but he didn’t approach. Nor did he move away. So maybe she still had a chance.

  She wanted a chance.

  Didn’t she?

  The magick between them was strong. The sense of belonging to him was too overwhelming to ignore, even through the pain of her memories. She needed him. But that need was also what completely terrified her. She didn’t want to need someone that badly again. Loving another person meant opening herself up to loss, and she couldn’t do that again.

  Refused to do that again.

  She listened hard. Though several male scents mixed with his in the yard and in the house, no one else was home. Finn’s was the only heartbeat she heard. That knowledge relaxed her tensed muscles just slightly.

  “You have to choose, Teagan. If you want Javier, I will leave you alone. I’ll never bother you again.” His voice broke on the last word, and his emotional declaration tugged at her walled-up heart.

  He wasn’t going to pressure her.

  This choice was all hers to make.

  “I… He said…” Her heart raced and words clogged her mouth like a stopped-up sink. What was she supposed to say? That she wanted more of what Finn had given her? That she had no one else to turn to because Javier was finished being her Master? That she needed another Master just to survive in life because she still woke in the middle of the night screaming? That she couldn’t take care of herself because she was such a broken fucking mess?

  She couldn’t do this. She didn’t want another mate. This would never work.

  Turning around, she started down the walkway back to the street but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

  “Don’t leave.” He was pushing the boundary of Lycan law. Accepting a mate was all the female’s choice. Her choice. A male was not allowed to continue pursuing a female who had dismissed his advances.

  His words were a command wrapped in a request.

  Everything inside her wanted to lean into the strength of his voice, but she knew in the grand scheme of things he would hate her for what she couldn’t give him. Yet there was that part of her that wanted desperately to belong to him. It was a primal need as much as an emotional one.

  She wanted to submit and let someone else guide her through this life that had torn her soul to shreds.

  Chapter 6

  Maybe she could do this without giving him a piece of her heart. She could submit and follow his commands. She didn’t have to accept him as a mate too, did she? They could just be Dom and submissive.

  She turned again and faced him, dropping slowly to her knees there on the sidewalk. The act of surrendering just that simple thing released so much stress from her chest. She could breathe now. The choice had been made… at least for the present.

  A slow sigh slipped from his body and he approached slowly, as if he was worried that any sudden movement might scare her away.

  She placed her hands on her thighs the way Javier had taught her to start their sessions, presenting herself to her Dom. She dropped her eyes to the gray sidewalk and felt a shiver of excitement flutter down her spine when his bare feet came into view.

  He touched her hair, sliding his fingers through the loose tresses. “Thank you. Come inside off the front lawn,” he said, taking a step back and holding out a hand to help her up.

  She slid her palm into his and felt the rush of their magickal connection sizzle between them. It was going to be hard not to give in to the mate call, but not impossible.

  He walked toward his front door, pulling her along gently behind him. The scent of his roommates assailed her nostrils once the heavy front door closed behind them.

  “They’re in town. Won’t be back for hours,” he said, as if sensing exactly what was making her uneasy. “We have the house to ourselves. And I want to talk about a few rules for this relationship.”

  Rules? Relationship? That was fast.

  “I want you as my sub, and I ask that you are exclusive with me. Do you agree?”

  She glanced around the house, taking in the masculine leather furniture, dark hardwood floors, and broad walls painted a warm sandy-brown color. Anything to stall answering his question. She didn’t want to agree right off the bat to being exclusive. What if last time had been a fluke? What if she hated him as a Dom? She wanted to be able to keep her options open.

  “I’ll consider it. When do I have to give you a definite answer?” she asked, h
oping he wouldn’t see straight through her stalling tactic.

  His bright brown eyes flashed with a hint of irritation, but he merely smiled and shook his head. “Is a couple of days enough time?”

  She swallowed and wiped her sweaty palms on the front of her pants. He’d gone for it. No argument at all. A quick nod answered his question and sealed her fate. She knew in the end she would choose to be exclusive with him, but it helped to feel like she had a little more control of the situation.

  Even if she didn’t.

  He approached her again, and every nerve in her body stirred to life, anticipating where his fingers would touch. Her face? Her body? What did he want?

  She knew he wanted her. The growing arousal behind his loose athletic shorts was more than obvious. Her face heated when she realized he’d caught her staring at his erection.

  “Strip.”

  The single word echoed through the empty house and made her heart clench in her chest. She moved her hands to her waist and pushed her yoga pants to the floor, shaking her feet one at a time until her legs were free.

  “Panties too.”

  She glanced up just in time to see him trace the edges of his lips with his tongue. His honey-brown eyes were beginning to glow yellow.

  This was happening. They were going to have a scene right here in his home. And this time sex was happening. She knew it. He knew it.

  It was an unspoken agreement.

  Her sex pulsed with need as the rest of her tightened in anticipation of what was going to happen. Of what she wanted to happen.

  She pulled her panties down and stepped out of them as well. Cool air flowed between her legs, chilling her damp sex. He hadn’t even touched her yet and she felt as though she would come apart the second he did.

  Straightening, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it off in one graceful movement, baring her breasts for his pleasure. Her nipples could’ve cut glass, and she wanted nothing more than his tongue to descend upon them and put her out of her misery.

  She wanted him. Wanted more than pain. The realization ricocheted around in her mind like a pinball bent on hitting every single surface possible. Pain was what she deserved, not happiness. She’d let down the people most important in her life. Watched them die in front of her.

  The memories flooded her vision and tears welled in her eyes. This wasn’t what Finn wanted in a submissive. She had to keep this wrecked part of her to herself and take what he gave her while he was willing.

  If she’d learned anything in life, it was that happiness was fleeting and only a second away from slipping out of grasp.

  “Stay out of your head, Teagan. Focus just on this room. What you see. Smell. Feel.”

  He moved to stand behind her, sliding a hand to rest on the small curve of her lower back and the round top of her ass. Pushing ever so slightly, he walked her forward to the backside of the large brown couch in the living room. He took her clothes from her hand, folded and put them aside in a chair to his left, then returned to stand behind her.

  “Lean forward over the couch.”

  His velvety voice slid over her skin like satin sheets.

  She followed the command and lowered her torso forward until the upper half of her body lay over the couch back. The furniture was rounded and quite supportive, but the leather was cold at first, and she shivered as it adjusted to match her warm body temperature.

  Finn’s hands slid along her back and caressed her ass and thighs. His hands moved back to her hips, and he lifted her a few more inches, resting her body just high enough that her toes didn’t touch the ground any longer.

  “Close your eyes, keep your arms down in front of you. I’ll be right back.”

  She did as she was told, digging her fingers into the cracks between the cushion she straddled and pressing her eyes tightly shut. Her sense of smell and hearing increased as her eyes closed and she listened to him leave the room, his footsteps soft on the floor as his bare feet padded in and out of several rooms. When he returned, she smelled the distinct scent of lube and vinyl. A thump at the base of the couch to her left was his way of letting her know they were going to use some toys.

  She wanted to know what was in the bag, but at the same time the idea of not knowing was extremely exciting. Goose bumps had covered her from head to foot as she waited for the first touch. Strike. Slap. Caress.

  Anything and everything he would give her. She wanted it all.

  “Has anyone told you that you have a very pretty pussy?”

  Warmth blazed through her body. What was he doing?

  “I can’t wait to put my cock deep inside that beautiful pussy.” His fingers trailed over her ass, between her cheeks, and down her slick labia. “You want me there now don’t you?” He slid two fingers inside and made a “come hither” motion.

  Teagan moaned and clamped down on his hand, tightening her thighs around his wrist to hold his hand in place.

  A sharp pop on the ass made her squeak and release his hand. “Greedy sub,” he said, a hint of a smile in his tone. “You are allowed to come as often as you want until I say otherwise.”

  Teagan gulped. How many times was he planning on?

  The sound of a zipper being pulled open caught her attention, and she listened as he dug around in the toy bag he’d brought out. A bottle cap popped open and she heard a gurgle as he squirted lube onto something.

  “I know you think pain is the only way to escape whatever it is that you keep locked up in your head, but I’m going to show you another way.”

  Her vagina clenched in response to his words. It was a threat she desperately wanted him to follow through on.

  Cold gel touched her, and she took a deep breath as he guided what felt like a huge silicone dildo toward the tight little ring of muscles that guarded her ass.

  “Take another breath and push back. This is probably a little larger than you’re used to, but I know you can manage it.” His confidence in and expectation of her curbed a little of the panic she was feeling from the large malleable tip of what he was pressing against her ass.

  She breathed in and out and did as he asked, pushing back against the slick toy. It breached the outer ring, which stretched her until she felt the sting of her body attempting to accommodate it. A few seconds later, the skin around her asshole and slit started to tingle. Even more blood rushed between her legs and she panted as her vagina began to convulse in time with each pulse of her heart. Her thighs flexed and she wanted him inside.

  Right now.

  She could do this. Anything he wanted as long as it was purely physical.

  This could work.

  Chapter 7

  Her body trembled under his hands, but she responded to each command and didn’t object as he filled her ass with a large dildo. What she didn’t know yet was that it had a vibrator in it and he planned to make her come so hard and so many times this morning that she wouldn’t be able to stand after they were finished. It would be a different kind of pain than what she was used to with Javier, but it would still hurt.

  After the first four or five orgasms, she would be on the brink of begging him to stop, something he knew she never would do if he used a flogger or paddle to strike her.

  She was conditioned to disconnect from her body when life became too much, and he needed that to change. Working through something was much healthier than hiding from it. He had an innate feeling that she held a lot more inside than one scene was going to uncover.

  He pressed again, and the dildo slipped deep inside her ass, sliding up to the narrow neck and settling into place. She would have a hard time getting it out without his help, and that’s exactly what he wanted. He pressed the button on the end of it and smiled as her entire body jerked against the vibrations. A low moan rolled from her chest, and he gave her ass a quick slap. She was so close, and that spark of fire from his palm should send her careening off the edge of the first cliff.

  It did.

  She writhed, moaning and biti
ng back a scream of pleasure as an orgasm rolled through her body like a tidal wave set off by an underwater earthquake.

  He slipped a hand between her legs and fondled her dripping vagina, pinching her clit slightly to make sure she stayed in the moment and didn’t drift off too far in the sea of endorphins flooding her lymphatic system.

  The sounds she made while trying to hold back made him even harder. He wanted nothing more than to strip and plunge deep inside her body, taking her fully and claiming her as his mate. But that wouldn’t happen until she accepted him. Until she invited the claiming.

  Lycan packs were ruled by an alpha pair. A female could rule alone for a while, but most packs wouldn’t tolerate a single alpha for long. Balance was demanded. Males and females needed the connection to an alpha pair to solidify the hierarchy. Without the dual leadership, a pack would quickly splinter apart.

  He left her side momentarily and reached into his toy bag again, pulling out a strappy piece of nylon that would hold a vibrator in place against her swollen clit.

  “Take a deep breath.” He soothed her, rubbing her lower back until the shuddering and moans died down to a more manageable level. It wouldn’t be long before the next orgasm began coiling inside her.

  He slipped the small straps of rubber beneath her pelvis and lifted her just enough to slide the vibrator pad into place over her mound and clit, then fastened the two straps around her waist and the other two around her thighs.

  She was a good little sub. Not a hint of a question came from her lips, and her body relaxed the more he touched her. When the second vibrator came on though, she was going to come apart faster than she could imagine. He slipped his fingers between her legs again, loving how slick and needy she was for him. Withdrawing his fingers, he brought them to his lips and sucked the juice off them. She tasted like honey and sex.

  His cock jerked inside his pants, and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from groaning. Her scent and taste were heaven. He knew he’d never be able to get enough of her. If only he could convince her of the same.